On Being a Bride (as a single woman)

Hello All!  I hope this post finds you in good health and in high spirits from the Holiday season. As for myself, I’m having a hard time going back to the “real world” after having a sporadic work schedule over the past two weeks and spending much of that down time with family. I am trying to see the blessing of the time off, and not focus on the difficulty of the inevitable return to work… easier said than done!

As a single woman, Christmas and New Years are difficult. This year, I did not feel the usual self-loathing and loneliness (praise the Lord), but it is still difficult dealing with others this time of the year. For example:

Cousin: “Hi! How are you? I’ve missed you! I haven’t seen you in ages! So, any guys in your life?”

Me: “Really? That is the first thing you ask me about my life? Any guys? As if that is really all there is to ask about. You don’t ask about my job, my church, my relationship with Christ, plans for the next year… nothing. It’s all about guys. Gee whiz.”

Don’t worry, I didn’t actually say that. I answered politely at the time, but I really felt like giving an incredibly snarky response that would make her think twice before asking me about a boyfriend again. I know she meant well, but I am just so over it. If we flip the situation around, I’m sure she wouldn’t enjoy me asking her if she’s pregnant every time I see her. She would hate if I made every single one of our conversations about how to get pregnant, referring OBGYNs to her, and talking about baby names. She and her husband just got married in August and I know they are not looking to get pregnant just yet. So why is it not ok for me to talk to her about having a child, yet it’s totally acceptable for her to ALWAYS ask me about a boyfriend?

Here is another scenario. Every year my grandma gets each of her grandchildren an ornament for Christmas. She tries to find something to represent something from that year. One of my cousins started culinary school this year, so she received an adorable ornament of a mouse wearing a chef’s hat holding a whisk. Another cousin has been taking my grandparent’s dog to obedience classes, so she was given a dog ornament. As I thought over the past year, I had a hard time figuring out anything out of the ordinary to focus on for my ornament. Nothing at all eventful happened this year. My sweet grandmother, though, always thinks of something. This year, she wrote the sweetest not about me growing into such a wise woman who loves the Lord, so she gave me an ornament with a wise old owl. Well, not one wise owl, but two. My dear mom, who knows my heart when it comes to dating and marriage, says sweetly, “That reminds me of you and Rachel.” (Rachel is a dear friend of mine who is also single). Then, my aunt had to chime in. “Maybe that second owl is a hint of what this year will bring!” Again, I know she means well, but I hate that somehow people think the only way God can bless me is by bringing a man into my life. If that is God’s plan, I will welcome a husband as a gift from Him, but there are like, five million other ways God can bless me! I hate when people just assume that I will get married. It makes me feel as if they view my life as incomplete without a husband. I must bite my tongue in these situations and answer in the same kind spirit I know the comment was given.

Thoughts on being single and what that means in life have been tumbling around in my mind for the past few weeks. Then, with the comments of last night and last week, the topic has been fresh in my mind. God is so neat in the way He brings just what we need into our lives just when we need them. On my way home from work tonight, I had a sermon playing on the radio. The message was about the Glory of God and of Heaven, but at one point the pastor mentioned being the bride of The Lamb. This thought stuck with me. Even if I am never a bride here on earth, I am the bride of Christ! How incredible is that thought? While others prepare for their wedding by buying a dress, picking a venue, and all the little details that come along with that, I am preparing for my wedding (which, by the way, is going to be the BEST wedding ever) by reading my Bible, praying, serving others, dying to sin, and praising the Lord. Each of these actions and many more, are just as crucial to my wedding day as flowers are to my future sister-in-law’s. So, even if I never get married this side of heaven, I will still not miss out on being a bride. =)

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